Dress You Up
by tii-chan17
Summary: Matt and Mello go summer clothes shopping. Due to Matt's dubious sense of humour, things take an unexpected turn. Dialogue fic.


**A/N: Oh my God, this is so random. Ah well. My summer holidays have officially begun, so take this as a celebration fic! Also the result of the copious amount of clothes shopping I've had to do for Sixth Form...  
**

**Dislcaimer: Matt, Mello and Death Note are not mine. *sobs grossly***

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Dress You Up

"Matt, you cannot be serious."

"What?"

"You've just picked out a striped T-shirt and denim shorts!"

"So?"

"So they're almost exactly the same as your normal clothes!"

"And why does that matter? The only criterion for this shopping trip was that it had to be for summer clothes, right? So these are summery. Sort of."

"I hate you."

"Why?"

"All you ever do is wear denim, stripes and goggles! You're like one of those anime people that wear the same fucking outfit for the entire season!"

"Could be worse. I could dress in drag day in day out."

"...okay, fine, it could be worse. But still. At least pick out a different T-shirt."

"Uh...no, I like this one."

"Fuck you. Fuck you so much right now."

"Maybe when we get back. Bit public here, isn't it?"

"...I really detest you, have I ever told you that?"

"Probably. So, if you don't want me wearing these, what would you have me in?"

"...hng."

"The expression on your face informs me that I do not want to hear that. But whatever. Just for you, I'll pick the Mario top instead."

"Godammit. Whatever, I guess it's better than _fucking_ stripes."

"Glad to hear it. But you have to pay reparations, Mello."

"How?"

"Try on this dress here."

"_What_?! No way in fuck!"

"C'mon Mello, it'll be so funny!"

"No. Way."

"Not even if I beg?"

"Not even then."

"I'll get you that Hershey's special edition box of truffles."

"...fuck."

"Yes! Okay, off you go!"

"_Matt_!"

"What now?"

"You didn't tell me it was backless!"

"Huh? It is? Ah well, you'll look that much sexier."

"Why are you making me do this? Why am I _letting_ you make me do this?"

"Because you just love me so much. Off you go into the cubicle now! I'll wait for you out here."

"You better get me more than just a box of chocolates for this, motherfucker."

"Yeah yeah, you in it yet?"

"What? Of course not! Do you have any idea how complicated this thing is? I'm still trying to work out how the fucking _zip_ works!"

"Should I come in and help you?"

"_No_!"

"Okay, okay...how about now?"

"No, Matt, I'm not done now either! Oh, wait, that's how it goes."

"Excellent. Are you in yet?"

"Wait a sec...ugh, God, this thing is uncomfortable!"

"Can I see?"

"Why the fuck are you so eager for this? Pervert."

"That's beside the point. The point is, I really, really want to see."

"Okay, fine..."

"...woah."

"I look ridiculous, don't I?"

"Um...no, you don't, actually. Wow. I think I might have a bit of a Problem."

"Too much information! Fucking hell, I'm taking this thing off!"

"What?! Why?"

"Because it's uncomfy, gapes at the neck because I have no boobs, and makes me look like a retard!"

"But you look like a smoking hot retard!"

"Never say that again. When I get out of this thing, I'm going to –"

"Oh, ma'am, you look so lovely in that! It really suits you!"

"_Excuse me_?!"

"_Ahahaha_!"

"Shut up, Matt, that woman thought I was a chick!"

"I know! It was hilarious! I'm dying!"

"Fuck you! I'm getting out of this."

"Aw, Mello, at least let me take a picture!"

"No! Nng..._how the fuck am I supposed to get out of this thing_?!"

"Want some help?"

"No! Ah, fuck...ow! Godammit...okay, fine, you can help."

"Yes! Oh my, someone's looking a bit debauched."

"Matt, everyone can hear us, remember?"

"Who cares? Where's the zip?"

"The side, I think. It's digging into my hip, so..."

"Fuck, it's stuck. Wait, just let me –"

"...Matt, please don't tell me you ripped it just now."

"Uh..."

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm afraid you'll have to buy any items you cause damage to!"

"_Fuck_! Matt!"

"Now, Mels, calm down, and let's see the positive side of the situation. At least you get to wear this for me whenever I want now, huh?"

"Gah! I hate you!"

"Love you too, Mello."

"Matt, I'm in a towering rage. You can't just kiss me."

"Watch me."

"Nn..."

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**A/N: For some reason, all my dialogue fics end up being longer than I meant them to be...never mind, I just hope it wasn't confusing for you! **

**See you next time!**

**tii-chan17**


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